Productivity Warriors Gifts

"His productivity apps pushed him to an early grave."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

Time Is Money

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

"Ok, so you got the worm. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

"...simple, we topped the water cooler with energy drinks and productivity rocketed."

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

"A laptop has been installed in each rest room stall."

Workaholics Anonymous meeting: 'No one showed up. Everyone is working.'

'I'm the CEO of a large corporation. Of course my cough is productive. Everything I do is productive.'

Run, Mike, Run!

'Of course, you realise my chief of staff has more power and influence than your chief of staff.'

Productivity as a goal

"Slip some performance enhancing drug into the water. We need more production!"

'He's still able to do the work of three committees.'

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

Studio in December

Joan hits the glass ceiling: 'Sorry, but I've decided to go with Wally of Arc...'

Beesy schedule.

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'