Productivity Warriors Gifts

"His productivity apps pushed him to an early grave."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

Time Is Money

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

Personnel. Any experience in crisis management? No...Just production.

"Ok, so you got the worm. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

"...simple, we topped the water cooler with energy drinks and productivity rocketed."

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

Resume Dumpers

I have plenty of work harder bees. Get me more work smarter bees.

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

"A laptop has been installed in each rest room stall."

Workaholics Anonymous meeting: 'No one showed up. Everyone is working.'

Run, Mike, Run!

'I'm the CEO of a large corporation. Of course my cough is productive. Everything I do is productive.'

'Of course, you realise my chief of staff has more power and influence than your chief of staff.'

'He's still able to do the work of three committees.'

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

Studio in December

Productivity as a goal

"Slip some performance enhancing drug into the water. We need more production!"

Joan hits the glass ceiling: 'Sorry, but I've decided to go with Wally of Arc...'

Beesy schedule.