Product Novelty Hunter Pillows

"I'm really excited about this new product!"

Fly Football

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Clown on bike.

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

hard-boiled egg...

Raincloud Umbrella

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

Apocalypse Research Center

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

Bathroom Fairy

'What kind of filling would you like?'

A close shave on the Titanic...

Elton John

'Have you any W fronts?'

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

LOL. Larry Lee Oppenheimer is no fan of monogrammed underwear.

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

Happy Bifurcation Day,

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

Tin Can Operation.

'These new metal detectors are great!'

'Please enter your pin now.'

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

"It called a smart phone. Cool, but no service."

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

Nobody's Perfact (spelled wrong)

Leaking backpack.

"Rats! It doesn't work...but why?? Why??!!"

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

"The reason you're not popular is...well...you smell like shark repellant."