Produce Philosopher Gifts

Fruit. When you think about it, seedless grapes are kind of sad.

Produce. I always feel bad about separating bananas at the supermarket. you shouldn't, Ernie -- Bananas aren't sentimental.

Produce Dept. Why is they are always yesterday's bananas or tomorrow's bananas, and never today's bananas?

'As a matter of fact, these apples are really transgenic onions.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Ban on Free Speech

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

Humans...What is their purpose?

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Historical memory is on life support.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

Voltaire

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"It's such a lovely day!"

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

What's normal?

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."