Tv Philosopher Gifts

'I must be getting old -- Andy Rooney is beginning to make sense.'

"HELP! - I'm trapped in a dumbed-down medium..!!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Woman on the phone.

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Non Thought For The Day.

The revolution that hit Hollywood hardest:The Thinking Pictures."

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

'Stop quoting from films and get on with it.'

The Last Jedi dvd is going to have fourteen deleted scenes! Horrible mistake. The confident creator releases his work to the world and says This is it. This is what I want to show you. He doesn't then show you all the stuff he might have put in the story. Did Prince release the deleted stanza from Little Red Corvette where he also compared her to a Ford Pinto? Wait ... Prince compared a sexy lady to a Ford Pinto? Who knows? That's my point. Aren't you glad you don't know what?

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

"What's it all about?"

Clever youth stating that he considers Shakespeare overrated

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

'In defense of rotten movies, they DO have the remarkable ability to make it seem like maybe your life isn't flying by that fast after all!'

Gawk

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"Mind if I tweak it?"

Always let you conscience be your guide. I let my conscience be my guide, but it's non-binding.

"Try staying in the same dimension as everyone else."

"A million monkeys typing for a million years might come up with Hamlet, but they could never direct it."

Valuation of Heaven

'I heard it was because of a broken charger.'

Why do you hate blockbuster movies? Why do you hate documentaries? I don't. I love spending two hours watching the very life I'm trying to escape. Oooh, fun, bittersweet insights into the complexities of living in modern life. Document this! My camera lens isn't wide enough.

"What do the know!"

'And I don't appreciate being left on hold,with Motorhead's 'The ace of spades'!'

"You're addicted to your phone and I think you need help."

The Graveyard of Deleted Tweets

"The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Wolverine'."

Adam and Eve and the coronavirus

"What if we could see five dimensions?"