Tv Philosophers Gifts

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

The revolution that hit Hollywood hardest:The Thinking Pictures."

'Stop quoting from films and get on with it.'

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

The Last Jedi dvd is going to have fourteen deleted scenes! Horrible mistake. The confident creator releases his work to the world and says This is it. This is what I want to show you. He doesn't then show you all the stuff he might have put in the story. Did Prince release the deleted stanza from Little Red Corvette where he also compared her to a Ford Pinto? Wait ... Prince compared a sexy lady to a Ford Pinto? Who knows? That's my point. Aren't you glad you don't know what?

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"What's it all about?"

'In defense of rotten movies, they DO have the remarkable ability to make it seem like maybe your life isn't flying by that fast after all!'

I can't believe I fell for the old "would you like to come to my place and see my etchings?" line. How old is that line, anyway? The last time it was used successfully was by Albrecht Dürer in 1495.

Clever youth stating that he considers Shakespeare overrated

"Mind if I tweak it?"

Let me warn you, toots. Celebrity is like radioactivity: you start with a big bang, then comes years with a half-life of slow decay.

"Try staying in the same dimension as everyone else."

"So this sense of failure stems from the fact that you're not catching any worms despite getting up early?"

"What do the know!"

Why do you hate blockbuster movies? Why do you hate documentaries? I don't. I love spending two hours watching the very life I'm trying to escape. Oooh, fun, bittersweet insights into the complexities of living in modern life. Document this! My camera lens isn't wide enough.

"A million monkeys typing for a million years might come up with Hamlet, but they could never direct it."

"HELP! - I'm trapped in a dumbed-down medium..!!"

I've never understood why the trailers come before the movie instead of after.

"The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Wolverine'."

The Graveyard of Deleted Tweets

"What if we could see five dimensions?"

'Neither MapQuest or Google Earth could give me directions to happiness.'

"Clever plot, but who can concentrate without some gratuitous sex and violence?"

Fruit. When you think about it, seedless grapes are kind of sad.

I never thought "the meaning of life" would include so many sports metaphors.

The New Philosophy Sitcom: Sartre Trek, Boldly Going Nowhere.

'I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and, doggonit, I'm not poorly drawn!'

"That's another thing about being nocturnal – nothing's open."

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'

"Isn't this a sequel?"