Proctology Gifts

Ethics exam cheater.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

'No days off, no paid overtime, no benefits...this job is killing me!'

Men's Health Screenings.

"I'm Stuck" Proctologist

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

A proctologist by trade, Bob liked to spend his weekends out in nature.

'I've been going to this same doctor for nine years and I've never seen his face...'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

'After years of studying the apes I've finally found a way of being accepted into their group.'

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

Proctologists' Office Party Games

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

"Oh relax, I'm off the clock for another hour."

The Proctolosaur

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

Medical students learning how to perform a prostate examination.

'...er...I'd like to be referred to another doctor about my haemorrhoids.'

Proctology Clinic 'The Endoscope is Near.'

UFO

'Is there a rectal surgeon in the house?'