Proctologists Gifts

"Airport security is really getting tough."

Ethics exam cheater.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'No days off, no paid overtime, no benefits...this job is killing me!'

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"I told the doctor about my problems with anxiety and burnout and he wrote me a prescription for me an one for himself."

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"