Pathology Gifts

"Doesn't seem to matter how carefully you put them back together you always end up with pieces left over."

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

"Stomach content analysis shows that he was still alive when we opened his stomach."

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Young Frankenstein"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Playing Fetch.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

A Good Batch.

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"Pick me!"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Why do they do that?"

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'