Pathology Pillows

"Doesn't seem to matter how carefully you put them back together you always end up with pieces left over."

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

"Stomach content analysis shows that he was still alive when we opened his stomach."

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Young Frankenstein"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Playing Fetch.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

A Good Batch.

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Pick me!"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Why do they do that?"

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'