Language Pathologist Gifts

"Yes, sir, we do specialise in lisp treatment..."

Superman with a lisp

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Henceforth including, but expressly not limited to love and honor and cherish and ... These vows are light on romance, but they're iron-clad legally!

Psychiatry. I have an irrational fear of words like "and," "or," "but" and "if"! And, conjunctivitis!

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

Lawyer sees street sign: Parallel Paralegal Parking.

Hey, I hear you invented the subjunctive. No, but I sure wish I had.

"I can never remember, does 'barge' have one snake-head jackal, or two?"

On second thought, your honor

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

Brother Ernest, I said "vow of silence," not "sow of violence"!

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

Grim Reaper teaches dead languages at university,.

Could you be a little bit more specific than an 'arm and a leg'?

"I just love take-out."

Elvis' autopsy

'I want to biopsy that growth, Mr. Johnson. I don't like the looks of it.'

'Tell me a little bit about yourself.'

"Doesn't seem to matter how carefully you put them back together you always end up with pieces left over!"

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'