Speech Pathologist Gifts

'Tell me a little bit about yourself.'

Speech Therapy: Back Before You Can Say Jack Robinson.

Ear specialist uses sign to communicate with hearing impaired patient.

One person's word balloon goes in one ear and out the other of the other person's ears.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Inclusive speech

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

What's normal?

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Dialogue

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

Changing Minds

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"A haand gel...!?"

"Tinnitus?"

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...