Processing Gifts

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Killer Executive Suits.

Prize vegetables.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

The Busy Gardener

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

I like the Jets...I guess

A Good Batch.

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"His first out-of-body experience."