Claims Processor Gifts

'Insurance Adjuster Rejector of the Year' 'Claims Delayed and Claims Paid Promptly'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

"That's not the morning paper, Storm. That's a subpoena."

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

"According to the insurance company, you don't have a leg to stand on."

'What's a cubic foot?' - 'Whatever it is claim compensation.'

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"

'Just a one-hour pass. I'm a process server.'

"We've had to create a whole new area in our filing system for your claim, Mr Butterfield.'

"The insurance company needs to see the alleged piece of straw before they’ll process your claim."

Pregnant woman going to 'Accident Claims'.

'I'm afraid, unless you can show proof you're employed by God, I'll have to deny this claim.'

"My name is Jerome and I will be your summons server this evening."

'You took out a policy with us Tuesday morning and had a fire Tuesday afternoon...What was the delay?'

'To prevent fraud, we like to verify whiplash injury claims!'

"Imagine an accident at 60mph..." "It would be like being hit by a 60 ton elephant."

I bet those are accident reports.

"It used to just be flowers but now I also do subpoenas."

"Full disclosure: I served five years for bank fraud."

"If you can fill these out before you pass away we can move on to stage two of your claim."

"Incoming!!"

"Actually, I got these injuries dealing with my insurance company."

Insurance co. claims department.

'The object is to make money, not pay claims! Don't make me tell you again!'

"And what gives you the uneasy feeling that my workers comp claim is under investigation?"

'So you say the cash box was stolen.'

'How did your meeting with your insurance company go?'

'What do you mean my policy does not cover for this sort of thing!'

"That's chemical law for you. No matter how minor the damage claim, our fee is always major."