Claimant Advisor Gifts

The benefits agency is always willing to be flexible,but only under certain limited, clearly defined circumstances.

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"Remember, Man of good Sense not here to do work on your behalf. Man of good Sense only here to help you on strategic level until you wise enough to overcome recession."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

"I can definitely give you my two cents, Sir – just let me know how you want it: Bitcoin, Paypal, or Venmo."

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"At least he's honest about it..."

Think tanks.

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"And this is my cousin Dave, who handles the conventional wisdom."

'It basically boils down to you need to do stuff better.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"The steering-committee three are we. Run it by us, and we'll see."

'Let's go raise some hell and tell people we support government sponsored health care!'

'It's just until the election is over, but I'm replacing you with Dick Morris.'

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

"According to the insurance company, you don't have a leg to stand on."

"I need advice and you seem to have a level head."

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

"Don't you shush us, mister! We're famous consultants!"

In a Quandary

Our succession plan is we don't talk about it!

'I think I've spotted our problem.' (too many consultants)