Process Server Gifts

"My name is Jerome and I will be your summons server this evening."

"That's not the morning paper, Storm. That's a subpoena."

Mike gets his very first subpoena: 'Oh, boy! Is the RSVP card inside?'

'Just a one-hour pass. I'm a process server.'

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

"It used to just be flowers but now I also do subpoenas."

"I'm Steve, and I'll be your process server tonight."

Rudy, you're good with kids. Sit down, I need your advice. Sure thing, boss. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. If a girl scout asked me if she could set up a cookie stand outside the caf

"Wait a minute. We can't subpoena these guys. It'd be suborning perjury."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'A cheeky red?'

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Fast food. Even faster food

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'Do you have any catsup?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

"You owe me five bucks."

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'