Food Processing Gifts

"How almond milk is made"

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

CORN.

Vacuum Packed snack.

"Nice catch Ug...don't you wish we were advanced enough to have fed it on it's own poo before mating it with a salmon and injecting it with chemicals made out of boiled oil..."

'Freeze Dried Nothing®. Directions: To make something out of NOTHING®, just add water.'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'I cleaned over thirty fish today.' - 'That takes guts.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

Surprise in the salad bowl

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

Culinary surgery.

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.