Food Processing Gifts

"How almond milk is made"

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

Vacuum Packed snack.

"Nice catch Ug...don't you wish we were advanced enough to have fed it on it's own poo before mating it with a salmon and injecting it with chemicals made out of boiled oil..."

'Freeze Dried Nothing®. Directions: To make something out of NOTHING®, just add water.'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'I cleaned over thirty fish today.' - 'That takes guts.'

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

Surprise in the salad bowl

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

Culinary surgery.

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

Macho Vegetarian

"I don't think you're genetically modifying these foods at all. I think you're just putting googly eyes on fruit."