Food Processing Specialist Gifts

'Not another shipment of orange juice that is TOO concentrated and explodes.'

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

GMOs: The Next Generation

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"Not bad, but it has a sort of plastic aftertaste."

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

"I don't think you're genetically modifying these foods at all. I think you're just putting googly eyes on fruit."

'It's amazing what they can do with amino acids these days.'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

Seasonal workers in the restaurant trade: 'Salt...pepper'.

Artificial Isle

People were amazed by the dexterity of the automatic pizza-making machine.

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

"I 3-D printed my dinner!"

Conversion of food products to petroleum substitutes - Conversion of petroleum products to food substitutes.

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

"I'll have what he's having."

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

"We're making progress."

Red Square. He's an important man, the caviar chief for the whole country. I still think he could have laughed when I call him the "Sturgeon General." I (heart) Moscow.

"Your chicken was free-range, organically raised, and named Denise."

The Blending Of Comestibles And Foam Rubber At The Submolecular Level!