Food Processing Specialist Gifts

'Not another shipment of orange juice that is TOO concentrated and explodes.'

GMOs: The Next Generation

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

"Not bad, but it has a sort of plastic aftertaste."

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

"I don't think you're genetically modifying these foods at all. I think you're just putting googly eyes on fruit."

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

'It's amazing what they can do with amino acids these days.'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

Seasonal workers in the restaurant trade: 'Salt...pepper'.

Artificial Isle

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."

Conversion of food products to petroleum substitutes - Conversion of petroleum products to food substitutes.

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

"I'll have what he's having."

People were amazed by the dexterity of the automatic pizza-making machine.

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

"We're making progress."

GM Kebabs

"What a slobster."

"How almond milk is made"