Food Processing Worker Gifts

Every cashew is an individually harvested seed bathed in acid. What a nut. What a world.

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Another day in the Splenda mines

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

Sea weed harvest.

Ghostbasters 3

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Nutrition-Free Diet

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

A clown ice fishing through a square hole

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.