Food Preparation Gifts

"So this where the magic happens."

'Just mash them the old-fashioned way, Doris.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

"Why, this broth we made is magnificent!"

"The gluten's back. And it's pissed."

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

Chopping Board chopped in two.

Oops.

'I put the steaks on.' 'Are you crazy? The potatoes aren't even close to done. The steaks will be coal by the time they're ready.' 'No they won't, we're almost out of propane.'

Mash-test Dummies.

person wearing heatproof suit for cooking

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

'This is one place in the army where you have to hurry to and they don't keep you waiting!'

Police husband tenderising the meat with his riot baton.

"If smoking is so bad for you, how come it cures salmon?"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"The defibrillator's not for pressing panini."

The super jumbo extra large with nothing on it.

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"Say hello to my little friend!"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Macho Vegetarian

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"I don't like his color."

"Have you ever mixed nuts before, son?"

"I didn't have time to cut the radishes into match sticks, so I just used match sticks."

"You ever notice how Vegans use more grains, soy, and noun modifiers than most other cooks do?"

'Pretender' - the meat before you tenderize it.

"Here comes Bob - and remember, he's sesitive about the cooking shrinkage."

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

"Pulp friction"