Food Preparer Gifts

'Dressing the Salad. Why?'

"Can't talk now, I'm dicing with death, we're doing stir-fry."

LAY ZEE FUK

Counting ribs

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Domestic Goddess.

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'I cleaned over thirty fish today.' - 'That takes guts.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"No thanks, I brought my lunch."

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

Horn of Leftovers

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'How is the water prepared?'

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

Culinary surgery.

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'