Problem Drinking Humor Gifts

A man drinks wine

'Man...You age great!'

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

"Look at Ernie. He's so tipsy, he's walking face forward."

Very drunk professional cyclist

Join me in a beer?

"Harpy Hour."

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

'It's time you booked yourself into rehab!'

'Well, here it is, but I don't see any pot.'

Do not allow your owner to foul the footpath.

'I'm trying a beer diet: lager for breakfast, bock for lunch, and IPA for dinner. So far, I'm losing 2 days per week.'

No glasses to be taken outside.

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

Drunken rooster has a hangover while sun rises.

Drunken cyclist

I drink to forget... which can take for-freakin'-ever when you're an elephant!'

'Are you trying to be funny?'

Alcoholidays: Beethovens fifth.

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"We forgot to get spark plugs -- I'll drive."

'You better not start anything...'

Seltzer paste.

'Are you drunk again!!?'

A drunk man being told to get up out of the gutter by a policeman

pickled onions...

"You look like a right dogs' dinner mate..."

'And we can count to eight. That's more than you can say for them.'

'You've got it wrong,luv-it's Fido who's the boozer!'

"How do they expect me to get to an early opener when I'm still too drunk to walk from the night before?"

Dowser and Beer

"I'm looking for a red with a fruity bouquet, lightly peppery on the palate, and will get me smashed in under 3 glasses."

De'ja' va - "This coffee is starting to repeat on me!"

A Delicate Hint.

JOE'S BAR, 'You can't call Joe a racist for throwing you out, dummy - you're both WHITE!'