Probability Theorist Gifts

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"It's time to get politics out of money."

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

"It's the new Trump Tower..."

You can relax now.

Davos.

Max Weber

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

Library: Self-Help Books and Blame a 'Rigged' Political System.

'To be honest, I would have never invented the wheel if not for Urg's ground breaking theoretical work with the circle.'

'Since you conduct only thought experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought results.'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

King Trump

Taming the beast of the free market...

'My God Pearson you're right. All these years the greates scientific minds have been looking for the theory of everything and all we had to do was Google it!'

"Woah - random!"

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy?" "Well… every waking moment I wish I were living before the beginning of existence itself. So I could witness the Big Bang." "It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline." "That way I could know for sure whether our universe is all just one big simulation running on some geek's computer." "I mean, everything being made up of atoms and math is

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'When the music stops, sit down in the nearest chair. Whoever doesn't get a chair is redundant.'

Another musical treatise from the 16th century is discovered.

'Maybe it's me, but I have a feeling we're being used as pawns.'

'We think, therefore we are a tank.'

'First particle theory, then wave theory, then plasma theory, and now lime gelatin theory.'

Theoretically

'The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance, and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever.'

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

"I figure the odds of you being the smartest girl in the class for three years in a row are practically zero."