Probability Philosopher Gifts

'According to this theory, it's strongly improbable that anything should ever happen anytime, anywhere.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

"Before we start, does anyone fancy a bet on the outcome?"

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Woah - random!"

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

Mathematician on the couch.

"I figure the odds of you being the smartest girl in the class for three years in a row are practically zero."

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

Entropy Seminar.

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'

Democracy - one of the drawbacks.

The statistician marrying the probability expert...

"We're not too concerned about him not graduating. We've only made it to tenth grade so we're already proud."

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

"If you ask me, physics is more art than science."

"Sometimes it's good to just pause and reflect on how obscenely rich we are."

String Theory

"First me stock split, then my wife ran away with my broker, then my driverless car drove off without me..."

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

"I guess I can’t prove I exist either."

"Let's face it, you could back the wrong horse in a one-horse race!"

"There it is, son, your four years at Princeton."

'Another 'undecided'.'