Probability Gifts

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

The statistician marrying the probability expert...

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Lynching on social media

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

Grace For Flies

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

Fear/Knowledge

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"The Ice Age must've caught him by surprise..."

"Portrait of a Lady"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

Giraffe Umbrella

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Are you made of sugar?'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather