Probability Gifts

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

The statistician marrying the probability expert...

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Lynching on social media

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Grace For Flies

Fear/Knowledge

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"The Ice Age must've caught him by surprise..."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Portrait of a Lady"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

Giraffe Umbrella

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"All natural snow cones for sale."