Chance Gifts

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

'I don't like to take chances.'

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

'Heads we declare bankruptcy, tails we try to buy out a profitable megacorp...'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"In light of current market conditions, I've diversified your portfolio to include Lotto tickets and bingo chips."

"Woah - random!"

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

'Unfortunately when our last window of opportunity opened up, we mistakenly crawled out of it rather than into it.'

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

'Ten percent chance of rain sounded pretty good!'

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute - Calls will be answered in random order.'

Leaving America to chance, the USA being eaten by a die

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'Ready for another roll of the dice?'

The statistician marrying the probability expert...

"My father was a very succesful man. He left me enough money that I could marry an idiot."

I've never seen anyone so confident about a race!

"I think I've already had my fifteen minutes of fortune."

'That's like, so random!' (teenager reading about the laws of chance)

Stock Market - "I suggest you buy Acme Chemicals."

Stan waits at the door for opportunity to knock.

"At random IS the plan..."

"Bob said his decisions were only 30% correct...so he's trying to increase his odds."