Chance Gifts

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'I don't like to take chances.'

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

'Heads we declare bankruptcy, tails we try to buy out a profitable megacorp...'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

"Woah - random!"

'Unfortunately when our last window of opportunity opened up, we mistakenly crawled out of it rather than into it.'

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute - Calls will be answered in random order.'

Leaving America to chance, the USA being eaten by a die

'Ten percent chance of rain sounded pretty good!'

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'Ready for another roll of the dice?'

The statistician marrying the probability expert...

'That's like, so random!' (teenager reading about the laws of chance)

I've never seen anyone so confident about a race!

"My father was a very succesful man. He left me enough money that I could marry an idiot."

"I think I've already had my fifteen minutes of fortune."

Stock Market - "I suggest you buy Acme Chemicals."

Stan waits at the door for opportunity to knock.

"At random IS the plan..."

"Bob said his decisions were only 30% correct...so he's trying to increase his odds."

'Just lend me a little bit more. I feel lucky.'