Probability Enthusiast Gifts

Department of Probability

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'And right here they merged...'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

Yomp Investments - Big risks sometimes means BIG BUCKS!: 'I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'...'

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

'Heads we declare bankruptcy, tails we try to buy out a profitable megacorp...'

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

"Woah - random!"

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

"I figure the odds of you being the smartest girl in the class for three years in a row are practically zero."

Leaving America to chance, the USA being eaten by a die

'Do you have clothes for winning the lottery?'