Odds Enthusiast Gifts

'You've become unbearable since you started working in that betting shop!'

"I can't see this gambling commission working"

"And finally for the record, the clerk of the court has odds of 6-4 guilty, 2-1 not guilty..."

Hare and the tortoise race odds.

The Epsom Derby - Weighing up the Odds

Christmas Bookie...

'It's a fight between me and the world,' - 'I'll have a twenty on the world,'

Casino.

'What odds will you give me, that my case gets thrown out of court?'

'Fiver on the rabbit, please.'

'Medical Building Odds'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

Destination casinos...

Yomp Investments - Big risks sometimes means BIG BUCKS!: 'I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'...'

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

'Heads we declare bankruptcy, tails we try to buy out a profitable megacorp...'

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

Post Game Day Betting.

'Okay, maybe I was defeated for re-election, but at least I beat the point spread!'

"Betcha can't hit the same spot twice in a row."

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'