Options Enthusiast Gifts

'Now that I trade options, that time of the month refers to the third Friday.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

The day the stock market went UP.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

Profit

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Wall Street Couch

Day trading.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Men on escalators reading newspapers, shares are going up on the up escalator and down on the down escalator.

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"