Option Strategist Gifts

"Rather than settle for the lesser of two evils, we decided to introduce a third evil."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

World Economic Crisis.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'Superstock'

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'