Option Strategist T-Shirts

"Rather than settle for the lesser of two evils, we decided to introduce a third evil."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

World Economic Crisis.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

'I'll be in late, Ms.Fernwood. Did I get any important margin calls, default, stock splits, foreclosures or bailouts?'

What happens when the bears are running the market.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.