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Department of Probability

Entering Las Vegas. It appears to be some sort of vast experiment in probability.

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'And right here they merged...'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

Yomp Investments - Big risks sometimes means BIG BUCKS!: 'I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'...'

'Heads we declare bankruptcy, tails we try to buy out a profitable megacorp...'

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

"Woah - random!"

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

Tombola Winner

'Do you have clothes for winning the lottery?'