Pro Crastinator Gifts

'Here's your rake, Phil! Can I borrow your snow blower?!'

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

A dog at the bakery.

A crab finds an alternative to walking sideways.

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

Sea Change.

Bake Sale! To benefit our town animal shelter

"Please buddy, can you spare a carbon credit?"

'The good news is we were able to remove the homework from his stomach. The bad news is, your kid can't write worth a damn.'

Energy performance certificate nailed to wall exhausts employer.

Snowman with big carrot nose to one with small carrot nose: 'I'd increase your beta carotene.'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

"Tell me the truth. . . what happens to all the leftover cake scraps in The Great British Baking Show?"

Dogs and Cake

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

'Just how much carbon are we supposed to offset?'

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

'I wonder if everyone else is making as much effort as us to reduce global warming.'

Net Zero Superstitions

Hourglass earth - time running out

"Hurray! We've solved global warming!"

The vegan hunter

"Here, son, don't forget your glass of fizzy."

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

Climate Change Denier's Playbook

Happy Eightieth Birthday

Heathrow Protesters - This airport's rubbish!

"When they said they wanted to be saved, I assumed they were talking long term."

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch Kid

Ocean Plastic blues

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

Carbon capture and storage