Project Procrasinator Gifts

'I'm sorry, Miss Root, Thomas got sick last night. I brought his project in. It's a cracker building, he ate as much as he designed!'

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

Breakthrough

D.I.Y

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

"Well, I've finished the project on time and on budget!" "That means I've given you too much time and too much money!"

"We really have to catch up on our New Yorkers."

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"Installed it himself ??" saved $50."

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'I put Wilson on your project and last I heard he was all over it!'

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

"It's about time you finished the wall, Herbet...that's your problem, you never finish anything you start!"

Invaders from Planet Manava.

Still living with parents....

'I see you worked in government research - what kind?'

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

Holiday Shopping for Guys

'The homework ate my dog.'

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'

"Man! I just had to pull another all-dayer."

Messing around on the internet when your boss thinks you're hard at work.

Fill idle hours by making your own rustic seat...use it when you want to relax.

The Supreme Court and the March of Progress

Ocean Plastic blues

"He should be there by now. He left for work an hour ago."