Plastic Crusader Gifts

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch Kid

"It's from, The Environmental Protection Agency. They're fining us for polluting the ocean with messages in plastic bottles!"

Ocean Plastic blues

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

"We can be old-timey office workers for Halloween."

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

A crab finds an alternative to walking sideways.

Man in radiation suit with 'Fresh Farm Produce'.

Energy performance certificate nailed to wall exhausts employer.

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

'Just how much carbon are we supposed to offset?'

'I wonder if everyone else is making as much effort as us to reduce global warming.'

"Hurray! We've solved global warming!"

Net Zero Superstitions

Hourglass earth - time running out

"Quit moving"

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

'I didn't write the report. I printed it directly from the Internet, but I did all of the stapling and collating myself.'

Climate Change Denier's Playbook

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

"I'm bored: Let's go and swoop over cyclists' heads and scare the heck out of them..."

'We lost funding.'

"Not again!"

"I've just finished crafting a non-violent solution to our problems."

Heathrow Protesters - This airport's rubbish!

"When they said they wanted to be saved, I assumed they were talking long term."

Travis practices socially distant trick or treating...

Carbon capture and storage

'I'm trying to transmute lead into a combustible fuel that will produce no smoke.' 'Turning it into gold will be easier.'