Critter Crusher Gifts

Bug-Cam.

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"De l'huile bouillante, pas du fromage fondu!"

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Vegetarian Birthdays.

'Ants of all lands, unite!'

A crab finds an alternative to walking sideways.

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

'One of the good things about being a dung beetle is that my kids are not fussy eaters...'

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

Pin-atas

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

Creative Writing. I've learned a lot in this class. I used to use cliches like they were going out of style, but now I wouldn't touch one with a ten-foot pole.

'Sometimes the boss exerts too much pressure about meeting a project deadline.'

The Short, Brutal Existence Of Pinata Candy.

"Cough cough"

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

'I don't think there's anyone home...Or am I just being naive?...'

I'm using fossil fuel.

"O.K., so no animals were harmed, but were they adequately compensated?"

"Some manage with a carrot, and others, with a stick. I find success with both."

"How's your blogging going?"

'You haven't been eating your carrots, have you?'

Beethoven's teenage pro-surfer career takes a dramatic turn.

'Ben doesn't know what to do between hunting season and fishing season, so he shot February.'

"One man's trash is another man's treasure. But in your case, another man's trash is ow your trash."

"I just gave her 100 Candy Crush lives so she won't be seeing anybody for a while."

"Don't grind your teeth. That's my job."

"No, you can't be anything you want when you grow up. You're a moose."

An angry Fox has reclaimed his former fur from a Women who was wearing it as a coat.

Lame Childhood Dreams

"Son, it's time I taught you how to crush a bicycle."

"Are you the folks who called the exterminator?"

"Karl! What happened?"