Privacy Paladin Gifts

'It's know as the KT26, but you can call it Mom, since it knows more about you than your mother does.'

Umm huh....umm huh...just one more security question: what's your mother's maiden name?

The Anti-Agent

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Club Antisocial

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

Soldier armed with a pen.

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

Police Statetion

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

Hello from the shed.

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

Privacy

CCTV in church.

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.