Privacy Paladin Gifts

Facebook/Cambridge Analytica Scandal

'It's know as the KT26, but you can call it Mom, since it knows more about you than your mother does.'

Umm huh....umm huh...just one more security question: what's your mother's maiden name?

The Anti-Agent

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Club Antisocial

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

Soldier armed with a pen.

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

Police Statetion

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Batman's Baby

"Yes, I'm alone."

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

Hello from the shed.

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

Privacy

CCTV in church.

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."