Privacy Paranoids Gifts

"Your cell phone isn't bugged by 'Pegasus'? You're not important enough. . . you loser!"

The Anti-Agent

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Club Antisocial

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

Privacy Conference Security

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

A Little Extra

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

She required plenty of personal space.

'More government surveillance!'

Hello from the shed.

Ditch the Phones

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

CCTV in church.

Presidential surveillance ass!"