Privacy Paranoids Gifts

"Your cell phone isn't bugged by 'Pegasus'? You're not important enough. . . you loser!"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Club Antisocial

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

Privacy Conference Security

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'More government surveillance!'

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

She required plenty of personal space.

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

Hello from the shed.

Presidential surveillance ass!"

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

CCTV in church.