Online Privacy Paladins Gifts

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

The Anti-Agent

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

Next gen pregnancy tests.

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"Yes, I'm alone."

Police Statetion

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

Privacy

The Best Defense

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

CCTV in church.

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.