Prisoner Anecdotes Fan Gifts

'There's one clever man, he managed to lose almost a billion dollars before they caught him.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Sweet Jailbreak

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Prison Wallpaper.

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

'It wouldn't hurt you to visit me once in a while!'

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

'Why did you leave your last job after being there for twenty years?' 'I got paroled.'

Earl's magic show was very popular with his fellow inmates