Prison Pun Enthusiast Gifts

"Oh, just sheltering in place, how about you?"

'Let's get a kitty.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'No enemies, Miss, could you give men a list of his friends?'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

'Hey. You're back.'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

All I'm saying is, the next time you go for a perp walk, I'd like to be included.

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

"If you don't stop squabbling, I'm turning this car around and going right back to the bank."

'Jackie Chan caught you? Now, that's a coincidence - Charlie Chan caught me!'

'We've been married so long we finish each other's prison sentences.'

Exercise yard: 'It's windy this morning!' (Arrows on uniform all blowing away).

"Ironically, I've got no bars."

Con Artist.

"He stole my heart, I stole his wallet. – Now that's what I call vengeance."

'So, how was your day?'

"I've been in prison for the past four months and my wife hasn't even noticed."

'Sorry, but none of our entrees are available for takeout.'

"Each time I was told to put myself in another man's shoes, I walk away in 'em."

'Juries have never liked me.'