Prison Puns Fan Gifts

"I've been in prison for the past four months and my wife hasn't even noticed."

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

"White Collar Prison"

Cupid misses his shot.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

Golf escape.

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

Prisoner decorating his cell.

"Father Michael has a wicked sense of humour."

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

Sir Isaac Newton discovers even more gravity.

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

"I don't know what it is, but, for God's sake, don't do anything to frighten it away!"

Jailed mouse.

'I don't think much of the punchline.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

Moby Dick: Pop-Up Version

Naval Command 'Innie' and 'Outie'.

Yeah, I know. My dating profile says I'm a "ginger," so you were expecting a redhead.

'One shot of this and you won't know a thing. Too late. He doesn't know a thing now.'

"So the SM is for swedish massage?"

Finger Food.

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'