Prison Paradox Gifts

Rietveld at Sing Sing,

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Shakespeare in the clink

'Let's get a kitty.'

Prison Romance.

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

Exposed and imprisoned.

"ll I was doing was following my dream...turns out that contravened the restraining order."

"I'm sorry son, I don't know how to answer whether today is opposite day or not."

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

'The worst case of insider trading I've ever seen.'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

"Maximum security prison"

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

"Why not become a prison officer when you're released, Dobson? We need 2,000 new prison officers; the government's keen to provide employment for ex-offenders plus you know the ropes."

'I'm not here for committing a crime - I'm here for failing to comply with a guideline.'

'I can hear voices...we're nearly free.'

"You shouldn't be so afraid of the dentist."

'The Not so Great Escape.'

"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."

Clancy: Good Idea

'Forty-eight felony counts have taught me not to try to do everything myself.'

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

"Thanks to Kickstarter, we're building a tunnel."

"You have to stop doing this. This is the eighth time you've received a life sentence!"

"I was doing ok before the investigation