Prison Paradox Gifts

Rietveld at Sing Sing,

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Shakespeare in the clink

'Let's get a kitty.'

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

Prison Romance.

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

Exposed and imprisoned.

"ll I was doing was following my dream...turns out that contravened the restraining order."

'Ever since we converted the church into a jail, everyone is finding Jesus.'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

"I'm sorry son, I don't know how to answer whether today is opposite day or not."

'The worst case of insider trading I've ever seen.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

"Maximum security prison"

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

"Why not become a prison officer when you're released, Dobson? We need 2,000 new prison officers; the government's keen to provide employment for ex-offenders plus you know the ropes."

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

"Stay! Do not chase us! Staaay! Staaay!"

You gonna eat your pickle?

'I'm not here for committing a crime - I'm here for failing to comply with a guideline.'

"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."

'I can hear voices...we're nearly free.'

"You shouldn't be so afraid of the dentist."

'The Not so Great Escape.'

Clancy: Good Idea

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

Maybe it wasn't the best idea to put a climbing wall in the exercise yard.

'Forty-eight felony counts have taught me not to try to do everything myself.'

"Thanks to Kickstarter, we're building a tunnel."

"Ironically, I've got no bars."