Prison-linking Enthusiast Gifts

'I've developed a variation of Linkedin. It's Lockedup.'

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Sweet Jailbreak

"Carl! I thought I'd find you here."

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"Psst. Pass it on. Tonight's the break!..."

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

Desert Island Inmate

"And just the name alone: 'feral parakeets'... I mean, how cool is that?"

'Oh my lord, they've turned into pillows!'

At his jailbreak, Bob rummaged through grit, sand loam and unfortunately and unintentionally through several dimensions.

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

"You guys go ahead—I'm an inside cat."

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

Prisoner is treated to leg of lamb for dinner.

"What's your exit strategy?"

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

Prison bus - "Race you for a window seat."

Full moon brings out werewolf in prison cell

Prisoner on the run - tread mill.

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

"In the movie about the New York prison escapees, I'd like to see Jack Nicholson as Richard Matt and Woody Harrelson as David Sweat."

'Here comes the warden. Let's see you try to dance your way out of this one.'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Tell you what - you've really caught the sun to-day.'