Prison Intrigue Fan Gifts

'You wanted your lawyer, he was only next door, moved in today.'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

'Yes, Frank, yes. That's how my body will fall when you kill me, and your laughter will echo down the corridors...'

Prisoner decorating his cell.

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

A prison with a conservatory attached.

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

'It's windy this morning.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

"You're doing 20-to-life. What do you mean you haven't got time to floss?"

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."

'Yeah? Well you could use some deodorant, too!'

"I was making big money! Yes, an inch too big."

"He says he won't wear a mask."

Identity theft. You?

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

'Thanks, but I don't need a lawyer. I'm going to tell the truth.'

'Don't worry, I didn't tell them anything they didn't already suspect.'

'Yes, you look stunning. Can I put the mirror down now?'

'I got busted for Identity Theft: I was pretending to be the Prince...'

'Look on the bright side, think of all the money you saved by conducting your own defence.'