Prison Documentary Aficionado Gifts

"Will there be time to stop at the gift shop?"

"Can I still do my pilates?"

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

'Yes, Frank, yes. That's how my body will fall when you kill me, and your laughter will echo down the corridors...'

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

"You ever done time?"

"No ham in this, I hope?"

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

Preferred Prisons

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

"In the movie about the New York prison escapees, I'd like to see Jack Nicholson as Richard Matt and Woody Harrelson as David Sweat."

Prisoner on the run - tread mill.

'Here comes the warden. Let's see you try to dance your way out of this one.'

Prisoner playing golf with his ball and chains.

'Yeah? Well you could use some deodorant, too!'

"I found your contact lens."

'Thanks, but I don't need a lawyer. I'm going to tell the truth.'

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

'Sure, you can escape, but you never escape unscathed.'

Get you anything while I'm out?

"Long story short, twenty minutes ago I wuz foolin' around on the prison computer... pressed the 'escape' key, and here I am!"

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

Dannemora School for Exceptional & Gifted Felons.

Barnaby in Newgate

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

'Let's stay in tonight.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

Lawyer to prisoner- It's stopped raining, I'll be going,

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'

"It's like home from home in here. The rules and regulations are very similar."

Prison officers' hospital visit.

WARDEN, 'You're a bad influence around here, Murdock!'