Prison Culture Analyst Gifts

Oh yeah? Well the crime show that got me arrested got higher ratings than the show that got you arrested!

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

"We try to treat volunteers like regular members of staff, impossible workloads and no resources."

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

"We're trying to create a caring, supportive environment. For money though, not people."

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'Sorry, I don't have anything smaller.'

We're supposed to write a paper on American values. Which ones? Tree's Trees. I'm not sure. Any suggestions? Two for one! Today! Look around! All U Can Eat Buffet. Val-U Meals. Biggest Best. #1.

Overcrowded Prison

Who the Hell Are All These People? Magazine

Prepare for the fad herald. If only he'd be my Facebook friend. Today, a special announcement. Special announcement? Hubbub hubbub hubbub. I speak to you today of Twitter. We have an unusual split decision with regard to a strange concept with a captivating name. Hear ye: The brand name Twitter is: In. But actually using the service is: Out. You may commence with not bothering to tweet or learn anything more about it. So declared. Free @last.

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

'When you run with the big dogs, you need a large pooper-scooper.'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Whoa...D?j? vu.'

Dannemora School for Exceptional & Gifted Felons.

'Jackie Chan caught you? Now, that's a coincidence - Charlie Chan caught me!'

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

"Please help me support myself in the style I've become accustomed to."

Santa visits prison.

"This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz."

"I need to boycott something that won't inconvenience me."

'Love the whole back-to-basics thing. I'll miss my freedom, but not the clutter.'

'I've developed a variation of Linkedin. It's Lockedup.'

'Juries have never liked me.'

Before and After Brexit