Prison Culture Analyst Gifts

Oh yeah? Well the crime show that got me arrested got higher ratings than the show that got you arrested!

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

"We try to treat volunteers like regular members of staff, impossible workloads and no resources."

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'Sorry, I don't have anything smaller.'

Who the Hell Are All These People? Magazine

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

Overcrowded Prison

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'When you run with the big dogs, you need a large pooper-scooper.'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Whoa...D?j? vu.'

"Please help me support myself in the style I've become accustomed to."

"This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz."

Santa visits prison.

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

"I need to boycott something that won't inconvenience me."

'Love the whole back-to-basics thing. I'll miss my freedom, but not the clutter.'

'Juries have never liked me.'

Prison Guard Tattoo

National Endowment for the Artless.