Culture Analyst Gifts

"I need to boycott something that won't inconvenience me."

Who the Hell Are All These People? Magazine

"Please help me support myself in the style I've become accustomed to."

Prepare for the fad herald. If only he'd be my Facebook friend. Today, a special announcement. Special announcement? Hubbub hubbub hubbub. I speak to you today of Twitter. We have an unusual split decision with regard to a strange concept with a captivating name. Hear ye: The brand name Twitter is: In. But actually using the service is: Out. You may commence with not bothering to tweet or learn anything more about it. So declared. Free @last.

We're supposed to write a paper on American values. Which ones? Tree's Trees. I'm not sure. Any suggestions? Two for one! Today! Look around! All U Can Eat Buffet. Val-U Meals. Biggest Best. #1.

National Endowment for the Artless.

'Sorry, I don't have anything smaller.'

Before and After Brexit

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Now I really hate poetry."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

Cheer up – at least #et_tu is trending.

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

Mount Rushmore entertainment.

Culture, Media and Sport Podium.

"I'm sorry but we do not promote just for participation."

"I didn't mean anything by it. I don't know why I said it. I just said it, that's all. Twiggy."

Sissy Spacek

Graham Greene

'Lets see now, Henderson, you've not shown any initiative because nobody asked you to.'

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

"We try to treat volunteers like regular members of staff, impossible workloads and no resources."

"We're trying to create a caring, supportive environment. For money though, not people."

'It's not if you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.'

"That was classic me."