Corporate Culture Analyst Gifts

"We've been accused of being a group of 'Yes' men!"

'How about this slogan: If you are unhappy for any reason we will feel really bad.'

'It's not an electrical problem. Something's wrong with your corporate DNA!'

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

'Come over here!'

"When you violate one of our unwritten rules you'll know it by the unspoken censure."

"I like your attitude, Peterson!"

"This is Byron from IT. This is Anne from marketing. And this is Bruno from collections."

'It's not if you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.'

Henry couldn't help but have doubts about the future of the company.

'Corporate greed has become unpopular...Any suggestions for a new name for it?'

"The last good idea my boss had was mine!"

"That was classic me."

"I don't think it would be a good idea to ask for a raise right now."

'Oh, we're still a friendly bank, but only among ourselves.'

"Either you meet your sales targets or you get 100 lashes. Have I motivated you?" CS628889

"What do women want, and how can we co-opt it?"

"It's a letter from HQ, it says that if we don't act to stop any element of bullying in the workplace they will send somebody over to…"

"I don't wish to confide in you. I find you artificial."

"As you have surmised, we're big on the team approach in our company."

"OK, we need to come up with some corporate values, any suggestions?"

"I'm sorry but we do not promote just for participation."

'Orders from on high...Every employee has to wear one.'

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

'Instead of pre-natal care for you, the company gave me a vasectomy!'

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

'How dare you read on company time, you little twerp?'

'I'm sorry, Buchanan, our company health plan remains in effect only if you don't get sick.'

'Lets see now, Henderson, you've not shown any initiative because nobody asked you to.'

'Due to the recent 'fire' incident, you'll no longer be carrying the torch for this company.'

Luckily for Sarah, her training had included a unit on detecting signs of negative body language.

'Sir! Elsworth's away from his desk again!'

"We've had so many layoffs that you're my only friend in the company...and I don't even like you."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'