Workplace Culture Analyst Gifts

"'Bring your children to work day' isn't the same since the retirement age went up!"

'Well, Ms. LaBoom, you may call it a transparency act, but we call it a peep show.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Staff support"

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

'I give this one about three months...'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of morale..."

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

-Great little number cruncher! -But lousy table manners.

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

''Benefit of the doubt' was our only benefit and now, the company has sent it offshore.'

We're one big happy family here. What I'm looking for is a man who can make it work.

"We added it just for the millenials."

'Looks like Kryson is no longer in the inner circle.'

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

Suggestion box paper shredder.

"I'm sorry but we do not promote just for participation."

"We try to treat volunteers like regular members of staff, impossible workloads and no resources."

'They no longer take suggestions but they do offer tissues.'

'Lets see now, Henderson, you've not shown any initiative because nobody asked you to.'

'This is about the poster isn't it?'

"It was just a little setback - but the boss had away of making seem much larger."

GDP and G&T.

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

Employer of the month...and every month.

"We're trying to create a caring, supportive environment. For money though, not people."

"That was classic me."