Company Culture Analyst Gifts

"We expect strong performance but not strong opinions."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

The Evolution of the Bonus

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

We're one big happy family here. What I'm looking for is a man who can make it work.

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

How it feels to be in a company with poor communication.

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

"You're just buying time, Peterson! I want those figures on my desk by tomorrow!"

"Hi Sean, welcome to my open space. Take a stand and let's talk."

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

'Lets see now, Henderson, you've not shown any initiative because nobody asked you to.'

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

'And my board approved this?'

"We try to treat volunteers like regular members of staff, impossible workloads and no resources."

"I'm sorry but we do not promote just for participation."

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

'What the hell is a win-win situation?'

"Remember to look miserable when you meet the workforce son. We've spent years convincing them that money can't buy happiness."

Henry couldn't help but have doubts about the future of the company.